Ever since you were a little girl, you knew you’d go to college and then get the job of your dreams. Because your parents said you could be whatever you wanted to be; right?

So you did it. You landed the job. And then you fell in love — with a service member. (Cue identity crisis at age 24!)

All of a sudden, doctor, accountant, chemist, or whatever it may have been, was no longer an option for you. So, seven years later, four duty stations, three jobs, and two kids, you’re still asking yourself “What about my dream job?”

I totally get it. A couple of years ago, I was miserable in a job that was below my capabilities. I had accepted it out of desperation to work after being jobless for eight months due to two back-to-back moves.

During that time I soul searched trying to find something that would bring me happiness and fulfillment, knowing we’d be moving every two to three years for the Army. As I explored the options, it became blatantly apparent that I didn’t want to keep starting over, stagnating my career advancement. So I made a drastic change. I quit my job, with a stable income, and never looked back.

But, I didn’t leave with the intent of never working again. I knew I wanted to continue to contribute financially to our family, but the traditional 9 to 5 job just wasn’t for me.

Today, I’m a marketing professional who works from home helping businesses, nonprofits, and personal brands bring their creative ideas to life through content creation and graphic design. But, I didn’t just stumble into this career. I chose it intentionally, and while it took several months of unemployment, I finally found my dream job.

Here’s how I did it. You can too.

1. Hire a coach.

Coaches can provide guidance and clarity. Before quitting my job, I worked with a coach for six months and simultaneously read StrengthsFinder 2.0. Together these two resources helped uncover my real values and priorities, which for me was flexibility. That’s when I knew to start exploring options for remote work; something I’d never considered before.

Abi Ray, MS, MFT and Dr. Patrice J. Carter, CPLC are two certified coaches I’d highly recommend. Both are military spouses. Empower Military Spouses is another great resource to check out.

2. Enroll in a class.

Take a class in something that’s sparked your curiosity. As a marketing professional, I wanted something to set me apart from the competition, so I enrolled in a three-month online web design course through Skillcrush. It took me outside my comfort zone but also gave me the skills, resources, and courage to start my freelance career. 

Think of something you’ve wanted to try. Enroll and give it a chance. You may love it — or hate it. Either way, try it and then mark it off your bucket list.

3. Let Go.

Give yourself permission to let go. The career you end up with may not be the one you originally imagined. That’s okay. At 32-years-old I thought I’d be further along professionally. But forcing a career into a life that didn’t fit made me dejected. So I switched course and now I’m happy!

You too can make this change. Remember, you’re not stuck. If the job you’re doing now doesn’t fill you up, find something that does. Think about the job you’d do for FREE because you LOVE doing it. Explore this option. Talk to your spouse about the possibilities. Then make a new plan.

Military life may have put a wrench in your career aspirations, but there is still hope. Let go of the guilt, give yourself permission to be happy, and achieve your dream. You got this!